just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
