so that wasnt chicken after all
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
