I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
