you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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