i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
