i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize