Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
