it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
