no. you can't hotbox the world.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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