Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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