I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
