I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize