I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
