Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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