yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
