i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
