did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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