the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
