DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
