he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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