where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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