HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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