White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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