we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
