Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
