Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
