is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
