I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
