If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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