areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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