i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
