Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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