i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
