i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
