bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
