in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
