The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
