having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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