How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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