So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
