she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
