drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
