I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
