I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
