dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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