seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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