Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
...so i touched it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
