You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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