All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
