he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She tied me up with her honor cords...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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