for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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