Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
