i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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