We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
