The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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